How about that feel you get when you step into a shower after a rough day? You had that relaxation on layaway, and it’s about to get paid.
Suddenly, an eyelash falls directly into your eyeball. You can’t get out of the shower to use a mirror, ‘cuz you’re too lazy and you’ll get the floor wet. You’re forced to endure as it floats around in there, and you make faces like Nic Cage from Matchstick Men.
An otherwise peaceful moment turns into a PG version of Saw, you trying trying to blindly fish around in your eye with your soapy finger, hoping you find it before you die from irritation.
It’s a shitty movie, trust me.
Did everyone see the new Mad Max: Fury Road trailer?
Charlize Theron is looking hard as hell. I bet her parents were a rusty battery and a piece of glass. She probably wakes up in the morning and brushes her teeth with a dead man’s finger. I bet she puts her make up on by clapping her hands in a crematorium and letting the ash rain down on her face. Her lip gloss is people.
She’s missing an arm! I bet a guy touched her once and she got so mad she made him eat it in one bite. She’s so hard, fake arm’s got a wrench on it for fixing people’s face.
Bitch is so serious; if Charlize played this character in Prometheus, the Engineers would have to change their name to “Leg Warmers,” because her foot would’ve been that far up their ass.
I bet she gives so little of a shit, she puts on eyeliner by dipping her head in motor oil like she was bobbin’ for apples. Let’s get this girl on an ad.